I’ve had some interesting quiet times with God over the last several weeks. I have to say that I’m actually a pretty big fan of when everything is going well in my life: Financial problems seem minimal…relatively speaking. Things are going well at work. People are complementary when they are reviewing my work product or talk about our worship services. Statistics are indicating that things might actually be improving relative to the coronavirus situation. This kids are doing okay. My health is pretty good.
Then something changes in my life, and it gets my full attention. A minor medical issue. Nothing life threatening, but something that I’ve never experienced before, and it is honestly a little scary to think that it’s something I might have to live with for the rest of my life. I begin praying for relief from God, asking for prayers within my various groups, and wondering if there is some unconfessed sin that I need to deal with in my life. I begin to move closer to God, hoping for relief. Then as I am praying, I am reminded of the apostle Paul’s thorn in the flesh, which he discusses in 2 Cor. 12.
Why does God allow Paul to have a thorn? Verse 7 says it is “to keep him from becoming conceited.” Okay, yeah I might need that a bit from time to time. Verse 8 says it is to remind him “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” In other words, he needs God’s grace MORE than he needed physical/mental/emotional relief from his thorn. Ouch. That is not really the answer I was hoping for. I cannot deny that my weakness causes me to draw closer to God. But my honest hope was that as I drew closer to God, that He would take away my thorn. But I have to admit, I really don’t know if ridding me of my thorn would cause me to lean in to God more every day in gratitude or if embracing/accepting my thorn would cause me depend on God more fully in my life. I suppose I would prefer the former but would admit that the latter may be more likely. Okay God, I trust you. If it’s okay with you, I’ll keep praying for my thorn to go away, but if it doesn’t, I know you’re still good, and that your grace is sufficient for me.
-Lance