*****5 Self-Defeating Strategies–(cont)*****

Strategy

We all have assumptions about how life ought to work. We respond to life in certain ways but there are things we are inclined to do that undermine the very things we want. We set out to get happiness, but in the way we try to get happiness, even when we get what we want it leaves us (and others) sour.

Our strategy is reflective of what we think we need to be happy. We may want a person, a type of job, a style of living, a kind of house. “If I can just have _____, then I’ll be happy.”

Strategies are rarely thought through. Most of the times, our strategies are just done intuitively, without much thought. Our hearts are generating a strategy we may not even be able to put words to.

 

5 Self-Defeating Strategies

The bible identifies 5 different strategies that are all “foolish.” A fool is someone who makes poor judgments. God is usually left out of the decision-making process. Therefore we end up with poor decisions. We “naturally” don’t see ourselves as foolish.

Our hearts have a “defective chip” inside us. Therefore, these strategies will appear good to us.

Proverbs 14:12 There is a way that seems right to a man but in the end it leads to death.

Ultimately, they will undermine the happiness we’re looking for. We may get what we think we want but we won’t be happy for long. Without God’s work we won’t see our own self-defeating strategy!

Proverbs 4:19 The way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble.

1. The Easy Way.

Attitude: Confident because he keeps hoping in the wrong thing; naïve, simpleton

Characteristics: lazy streak; big plans; not work out step-by-step plan; expect the big solution; “Magic Key.” Financial: moving from job to job. Quick fix mentality. Moving from Magic Key to Magic Key. Path of least resistance.

Major tools: lazy, lying, squirming, deception.

Proverbs 14:8 The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way. But the folly of fools is deception.

Cycle: False HopeàDisappointmentàFalse HopeàDisappointment

2. The Reactive Way.

Attitude: stubborn, reactionary, and determined.

Characteristics: rebellious, adversarial, and manipulative. Once they set their mind, they are going to have their way. They’ll get you to do what they want.

Major tools: Irritability; anger. Upset. Blow up.

Proverbs 27:3 Stone is heavy and sand a burden, but a fool’s wrath is heavier than both.

We say of people like this, “Don’t tell so-and-so or they’re going to blow.” You tip toe around this person.

3. The Fun Way.

Attitude: Desire, feelings and emotions. “You wouldn’t want me to be unhappy, would you?” Ready to party.

Characteristics: Impulsive; irresponsible.

Major tool: Denial. Block out the rest of the world, and the consequences that are sure to come. They just take what they want. They are prisoners of the moment. Drinking/drugs/affairs, etc.

Jeremiah 5:21 Hear this, you foolish and senseless people, who have eyes but do not see, who have ears but do not hear…

They don’t want to see or hear.

4. The Glory Way.

Attitude: arrogant; attention-seeking; limelight. We demand more for ourselves than is due. Center stage; making sure I get the credit.

Characteristics: self-promoting; pushing themselves upward. Scheming. Plot to get. Critical when not receive recognition.

Major tools: Pushiness. Push others back.

Psalm 75:5 Do not lift your horns against heaven; do not speak with outstretched neck.

The two images are a bull (lifting his horns in arrogance) and the giraffe. Pushy. Have to be #1.

5. The Predatory Way.

Attitude: without mercy

Characteristic: godless. If no God to bring justice, all I have to do is deal with stupid people. Ruthless. Joy at others pain. Prefer win–lose.

Major tools: Pretense. Pretend to be one thing so they can get what they want.

Sexual predator: Philip Garrido. Financial predator: Bernie Madoff. 

Isaiah 32:5 No longer will the fool be called noble nor the scoundrel be highly respected. He practices ungodliness and spreads error concerning the Lord; the hungry he leaves empty and from the thirsty he withholds water.

The Easy Way; the Reactive Way; the Fun Way; the Glory Way; the Predatory Way

 

My Strategy vs. God’s Strategy

Ecclesiastes 2:26a To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness…

·         Wisdom: correct pursuit

·         Knowledge: perspective about what’s going on.

·         Happiness: gift! Not something we get.

Therefore, my goals become “I want to get what God thinks is good” (person; job; location). One thing worse than loneliness—regret. Go after what God wants in a way that honors and pleases God. If I please God he will grant me happiness. If we don’t we are going to run into problems.

                                                            My Way                                  God’s Way

Short-term:                                          Looks great!                            Uh oh             

Long-term:                                          What happened?                     Wow                

John 8:32 If you hold to my teachings, you are truly my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.

All other strategies are self-defeating!

Your strategies make it impossible to ultimately get what you want. You’ll move from job to job, church to church, marriage to marriage, location to location, friend to friend, etc.

God’s kind of life he wants to give you begins with a new heart! You need a new purpose, a new plan, and a new power. The chip inside you starts getting repaired! We grow as we continue to give up our foolish strategies and pursue God’s will from the heart.